Agony Enough for Two
by Pen2Computer
Summary: Takes place in Bella's depressed zombie months in New Moon. Around three months after Edward left Bella wanders back to the Cullen's house where she realizes that she can't live without Edward. Please give it a chance. No longer a one shot. R & R please.
1. Bella's attempt

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

My feet thudded almost mutely against the grassy ground as I slowly approached the house. They-most importantly, he- had been gone for three months now. With a wavering hand I slowly approached the brass handle of the door. I turned it quickly, sucking in quick breaths of air as it creaked open. I gasped as I saw the vacant house. It was just like I remembered it. It even had most of the furniture still in it! I could feel the hot, salty tears begin to cascade down my cheeks as the pain of lost ripped through my broken heart, making me fall to the floor in agony.

For every beat of my heart-if it still exsisted-his name pounded through my ears.

_Thump, Edward, Thump, Edward, Thump, Edward. _

I began to weakly call out his name. I could barely get the words out of my mouth.

A river was flowing into my mouth as I whispered,

"Edward. Edward. Edward…please, I love you, please…Edward."

The hot searing welding anguish that passed through me was too much. I couldn't afford to live. It didn't matter that I had promised Edward that I would not do anything reckless. I knew in that minute I would kill myself.

He wouldn't care anyways…I was just a human annoyance. A thing that he could trifle with for a little bit and then realized that the toy he held was nothing special-something he could afford to drop on the ground and forget about.

But I didn't blame him-how could I? He had reason to leave. I was just a human, a plain boring human with nothing special about me. I was enough to capture his interest for a few months, but in the end…I think I always knew how it would play out. I just hoped he was happy.

For even though he had destroyed my life, left me a pool of lifeless organs on the ground-he deserved a life. I quickly went into their kitchen and hoped that they had left their props of silverware. I was right. They had. I quickly chose a large knife and went to sit by Edward's piano. The tears were flowing more rapidly now.

I was not sure if they were all sad tears. After all-I was going to a better place now. The one or two seconds of pain would be worth that-wouldn't it?

I aimed my crude weapon near my heart, and with a shaky hand I plunged it. A hot searing warm sensation flew over me and I felt to my knees on the floor. I could feel myself fading-and in that instant I could almost hear my lullaby in the background. A soft gentle melody playing solely for myself. A last present from Edward. My life flashed through my eyes as I saw the blood squirting out from my wound. Life with Renee, with Charlie. Meeting Edward.

Awe…meeting Edward. A lifetime of memories flooded through the time span of about a year. Our first kiss, dancing with him-his voice as he saved me from James. Clair De Lune playing while we rode home in his enchanted Volvo. And then a new memory-his velvety voice sounded so real as he cried out in a slightly swirling voice- "Bella! Hold on Bella-don't do this to me."

I wondered why it was taking me so long to die, I realized I must of aimed, with my wavering hand, just a little left of my destination. I was just stretching out the pain but it didn't matter. I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness from the lack of blood. I slowly whispered my last words.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough."

Then the blackness took me.

Yes…so sad. Poor Bella. Is this a one shot? Maybe-or was Edward really there. Was it her imagination. Review to find out.


	2. Edward's agony

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Disclaimer: Do I look like Stephanie Meyer? (flashes picture) No. I didn't think so!

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_I wondered why it was taking me so long to die; I realized I must have aimed, with my wavering hand, just a little left of my destination. I was just stretching out the pain but it didn't matter. I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness from the lack of blood. I slowly whispered my last words. _

"_I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough." _

_Then the blackness took me. _

Three hours ago

Edward's point of view:

I sat on the cracking wood panels in a dusty, rotten looking room glaring into a cracked mirror. The view of myself was slightly blurry as the mirror wasn't of great quality, but it still showed me…the monster.

The evil, cruel, selfish, horrid soulless monster that had left my poor sweet innocent, fragile Bella alone. No. She wasn't my poor sweet Bella-she deserved much more than that. I looked back to the merciless day, about three months ago, when I had left her dazed, confused, and primarily heartbroken in the forest.

I was such a jackass.

I didn't deserve her love anyways-I had coveted her after all, but she had loved me back and I had made her cry. I forced myself to look into the mirror again, forced myself to see the horrible monster I was. If I could cry, I would be drowning by now.

I felt like I had been ripped into a thousand pieces when I had broken my poor little porcelain Bella and now I could never be put back together.

I heard a scuttle of feet and a fat, hairy rat dashed pass me. I reached out quicker than Bella's eye would be able to see and plucked it from the ground. I sunk my teeth into it's fury neck. It twitched slightly than was still. I threw it away in disdain; I hated rats. That was all I had been feeding off of , of late. Rats, mice, and the small scorpions that sneaked around the moldy old abdoned shack that I had forced myself into.

I was trying to make myself suffer-it was after all what I deserved.

Deserved. Ah-Bella deserved better than to be left alone in the exile of Forks. I thought of how glum she had looked when she had first been there, how her eyes had only sparkled when I was in her presence. Her life must be a living hell on earth now. No! I could not think that way-couldn't make myself think that she actually wanted me back.

But her warm brown eyes had looked so alive the first time I had molded my cold hard lips to hers. I longed to have her in my arms right now. To have her there so I could struck her face with my white hands, so I could kiss the crimson red that was her lips, to say that I would never leave her again…

A ringing sound came from my jeans and I warily picked out my cell phone. It was Alice. I decided to answer it to be safe; she hardly ever called me if it was not an emergency. No one did.

"Alice?" I said in a tortured voice as I flipped the silver screen open.

"Edward!" She screeched, she sounded in a panic. My non existent heart flipped-was this about Bella-or had something happened to Esmee or one of the others?

"Alice! What happened-is Bella hu," I couldn't finish the sentence. Of course she was hurt; I had left her.

"Edward! It's Bella-she's, she's about to…die Edward! She's going to commit suicide in less than an hour!"

Agony ripped though my chest-threatening to drown me in it. My Bella was about to die and it was all my fault! I was in a near frenzy.

"Alice-where, why, where!?! Tell me now!"

"In forks at our place! Go Edward!" I wondered very briefly whether she would want me to stop her, I was, of course, going to save her even if she wanted to die. But would she try again? Alice misinterpretation my silence screamed,

"Edward! Screw the never seeing her again crap please! Go! Now."

I had flung my cell phone down by the word again and was out the door. Now the question was-could I make it in time?

Review! Review! Review and I will update sooner! : D


	3. I'm so sorry

Okay, so sorry for tricking you or whatever this 'chapter' is. But this isn't the real story…yet. But please read!

I just wanted to let you know that I have the next chapter all typed up! : D

However, it's on a different computer so I have to get it transferred and go to the other computer and all that stuff. Which I can't today…but I will tommorw! : )

On a note though: If I get five more reviews on any of the chapters I will put an extended chapter up! Yeah!!!! An extended chapter gives you the original chapter of the story plus like a page and a half more! And the best thing: it's all in Edward's Pov and you know you love it!

SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Thanks for reading

-Twilightluverperson


	4. Edward's agony part 2

Disclaimer: Your still seriously thinking that I wrote Twilight? (Calls mental insanity hospital)

Well I didn't get my 5 reviews for the bonus addition. But then I thought oh what the heck-might as well give it to them for the other reviews I got! (Which was so much more than I thought I'd get by the way!)

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_Agony ripped though my chest-threatening to drown me in it. My Bella was about to die and it was my entire fault! I was in a near frenzy. _

"_Alice-where, why, where!?! Tell me now!" _

"_In forks at our place! Go Edward!" I wondered very briefly whether she would want me to stop her, I was, of course, going to save her even if she wanted to die. But would she try to commit suicide again? Alice misinterpretation my silence screamed, _

"_Edward! Screw the never seeing her again crap please! Go! Now." _

_I had flung my cell phone down by the word again and was out the door. Now the question was-could I make it in time? _

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Edward Point of View (again)

Snow flurries flew into my face as I sprinted as fast as I vampirely possible toward Forks.

The shack that I had condemned myself into was somewhere in Alaska and I just hoped I could make it to Bella before she…I shuddered and flung the thought away to the deepest, loneliest pit of my mind.

I didn't think of anything; I just ran, ran faster, and faster, and faster until I was just a blur in the freezing wind.

If she died before I could save her, life would not be worth living. I knew Emmet and Jasper would not kill me even if I begged; but maybe, just maybe the Voltori would have mercy on my merciless non existent soul and grant me the numb feeling of non living?

I pushed that thought away until later; because with the thought of me going to the Voltori meant that Bella had died, and I defiantly could not bear to think of that!

I breathed in a quick breath when I began to run threw the familiar forest grounds near my old house.

As I got closer I could faintly hear sobs, and with each cry uttered from my angel's perfect red lips I could feel myself being emerged in agony. I could see the house by now.

I could hear a clink of silverware and I gasped. She probably was going to shove a knife through her heart! I ran even faster, if that was possible and ran to the porch steps.

That's when I stopped breathing.

A insanely heavenly smelling scent washed over me-a scent that I knew oh to well. Bella's blood. The urge to lap up the freesia scent was quickly dominated by the fact that my Bella was about to die.

I yanked the door from it's hinges and ran to where I could smell her blood the most. There lay my beautiful Bella looking quite shocked on the floor with blood pouring gruesomely from her many wounds.

I cried out aloud-my pain doubling hers.

"Bella! Hold on Bella-don't do this to me!" My thought were in a frenzy as she smiled a tiny beautiful smile. She was happy that she was killing herself and me in the process? The thought made me angry. But if that made me angry, then the next sentence made me enraged.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough."

What the hell had that meant? She actually thought she wasn't good enough for me?!?! Rage and hate turned on myself and I put forth another burst of energy as I grabbed her in my arms and ran as quickly as I could to the Forks hospital.

AN: Since I might not be able to update as soon as I would like, I'll go ahead and give you some more! : D

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I could gratefully hear small wheezing breaths being inhaled by Bella and those small sounds were enough to keep me from falling to pieces…for now.

As I got into the parking lot of the hospital I had to slow down. I was now running at human pace-though I was running like I was in the Gold Metal Olympics of course. I grabbed the handle of the door and ran in screaming.

"Help! Someone I need help!"

A nurse came running to me and in inhaled a low throaty cry. Her thought were confused and interested and worried. She also took me in and thought I was 'fine.' I shuddered.

"What happened to her?"

She tried her best to sound worried and cool and collective and 'sexy' at the same time.

Impatience surged through me-if this one little unimportant question made Bella die I would kill the nurse.

"Does it matter what the hell happened? Just get me a doctor…now." My tone was low and boarding on the edge of evil…I didn't care.

She looked flustered and nodded quickly before running away.

As quick as humanly possible a doctor came sprinting down the hallway-eyes widening as he took in my love.

"This way young man, hurry-she doesn't like she has much time left."

Pain coursed though me at that simple sentence, even though I had already knew it; the words coming from another's mouth made it seem oh so real.

I jogged after him, up a flight of stairs and into a fancy medical room. I gently set Bella on a rolling bed while the Doctor-whose name was Doctor Freshman, called for backup.

They hooked Bella up to many tubes and poked and I.V through her arm. One tube carried fresh blood into her, seeing as she had lost so much already. But for every ounce of blood that went into her, one and a half came out. The doctor looked frantic, running around the room seeking materials.

I left the operation sight and headed down the hallway to Carlisle's old office room.

I went to the office's phone and quickly dialed a number. Carlisle answered the first ring.

"Edward-I heard about Bella and I am on my way to the hospital right now…I assume she is in a hospital-correct?"

He sounded horrified in the end, and I knew he thought I had drunk her blood-unable to resist.

"Yes-she is in the hospital, room number B42. Doctor Freshman, please hurry Carlisle…I…I'm afraid, she lost so much blood and…"

I gulped unable to continue. Carlisle quickly said of course and goodbye before hanging up. I nervously ran back to the sight and looked in through the window that showed in the hallway. I paced back and forth until Carlisle came five minutes later, hair wind blown and in a white Doctor's office.

He ran into the room and I hurried after him.

"I got from here Doctor. Please leave and give Bella some room, I will handle it."

Doctor Freshman and the rest of his helpers looked shocked to see my father but quickly left out the door without question. Carlisle began to sew up Bella's wound-his face grim.

"How did this happen, Alice just said Bella was about to die and that you needed me."

I looked down, ashamed, horrified, and depressed.

"I did it Carlisle! It was all my fault-she tried to commit suicide. I could hear her sobs, I could hear her calling my name…and then she stabbed herself! And…And…and the last sentence she said before fainting was I'm sorry Edward-I'm sorry I wasn't good enough! I am such a, such a…"

I fell to the hospital floor, my face clutched in my hands. There wasn't a cuss word that could describe how horrible I was.

Carlisle looked in pain after I finished but quickly continued working on Bella. Then he checked her heart monitor and gasped.

"Edward-Edward-her heart, it's…it's stopped."

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Oh and plus you may be thinking that, oh other people read this-they can review. Well every single review counts. So thanks!


	5. So Close to You yet so far away

_Disclaimer: Seriously? _

"_I did it Carlisle! It was all my fault-she tried to commit suicide. I could hear her sobs, I could hear her calling my name…and then she stabbed herself! And…And…and the last sentence she said before fainting was I'm sorry Edward-I'm sorry I wasn't good enough! I am such a, such a…"_

_I fell to the hospital floor, my face clutched in my hands. There wasn't a cuss word that could describe how horrible I was._

_Carlisle looked in pain after I finished but quickly continued working on Bella. Then he checked her heart monitor and gasped._

"_Edward-Edward-her heart, it's…it's stopped."_

Carlisle Pov:

When Alice had called me and told me Bella was on the brink of death I was horrified? I was, of course, very ashamed to have left Bella without a word; but I had done it on Edward's behalf. I had argued about leaving internally for hours. On one side a piece of me thought:

Bella was Edward's girlfriend-it was his choice if he needed to leave Bella behind. However on the other hand Bella was family to me and to the rest of us, and she had a say in the matter too.

I just didn't know what to decide!

I continued to check on Bella and started to sew up the tender wound right next to her heart. I had my doubts she would make it alive…human. Of course, I was careful to try to just concentrate on my work for fear that Edward would hear.

Trying to strike up a conversation I asked casually to Edward,

"How did this happen, Alice just said Bella was about to die and that you needed me."

I watched Edward carefully out of the corner of my eye. His face was suddenly in agony, depression, and horror…he also seemed ashamed.

I did it Carlisle! It was all my fault-she tried to commit suicide. I could hear her sobs, I could hear her calling my name…and then she stabbed herself! And…And…and the last sentence she said before fainting was I'm sorry Edward-I'm sorry I wasn't good enough! I am such a, such a…"

I gasped internally and tried to compose my face. She had tried to commit suicide? It was worse than I thought! I felt so horrific for what we had done to Bella. All of us. We all had left her, we all had failed to communicate with her, we all—I gasped as I checked her heart monitor.

One second it was going at a, if not good, an alive pace-the next second it dropped dramatically.

"Edward-Edward-her heart, it's…it's stopped."

Edward froze for half a millisecond then he started to go into hysterics.

"What Carlisle? What do you mean? No! This is all my fault! Please Bella, hold on stay with me!"

Edward pushed me roughly out of the way and I stumbled back shocked. He had never treated me so roughly! But no doubt I would have done the same thing had Esme been mortal and in Bella's place.

Edward bent over Bella and stroked her hair and touched her face. Then a spark of hope came to his eyes and he bent down and kissed her passionately.

At first I thought he just wanted one last kiss with her; but to my amazement the heart monitors restarted and Edward sighed in relief. Dry tears of happiness coming to his eyes.

"Bella-never do that to me ever again! Please…"

Bella Pov of recent events: (subconsciously)

I woke up to a world full of confusion and pain. Where was I? I looked around and I seemed to be lying on some sort of bed and blood was splattered everywhere. Blood---oh no, blood.

I waited for the dizziness to come but it never did. I was semi shocked. I tried to hesitantly get up to find that I couldn't move! I looked desperately for a way up and then gasped out loud.

Carlisle was leaning over me and Edward was pacing over in the corner. Edward…Edward…Edward.

My heart almost leapt from my chest. He was here, after three torturous months of being without him-he was here.

That's when it all came back to me.

Going to the Cullen's house, the agony, the piano, the knife…and Edward calling out to me. So he was there! And that explained why I was here…in the hospital.

Wait? Was I dead? I started to panic when a deep black came over me. It hurt so much! It felt like I was Atlantis with the world on my shoulders; it was crushing me into oblivion. If I wasn't dead then, I was about to be now. I didn't think I could stand it. I tried to take a deep breath but then realized I couldn't.

I couldn't breathe-I couldn't breathe!

I was suffocating! Right when I had Edward back, I had to go and commit suicide! I was such an idiot!

I was preparing for my last seconds when something hard, cold, delicious, and strangely familiar pressed onto my mouth.

It took me half a second to come up with the following conclusion in my head: It was Edward's mouth on mine.

In a second the black brick heaviness was removed from me and I started to suck in mouths full of air. It felt soo reliving. But in the place of the crushing weight was a new kind of weight. Edward's kiss to be exact. What had that been about?

Edward's Pov:

I pressed my lips hurriedly and passionately onto hers. Her full, bright plump lips felt so heavenly beneath mine. It was like taking in a deep breath of air-and she wasn't even kissing back.

I broke away when I finally couldn't handle it anymore and then an immense satisfaction washed over me when I saw the restarting of her heart.

My Bella was Ok…for now.

_Two hours later: _

Bella Pov:

I could slowly feel my senses returning to me, first I could hear-which I couldn't in la la land. Then I could smell, and I could smell blood. Which almost made me pass out again.

But the thought that Edward might not be here when I got back was enough to make me suck it up.

Edward-my Edward. He was waiting for me. I knew he didn't love me-but still; just by seeing him maybe some of that horrible pain in my heart would be healed…maybe.

Aw-hell! Who was I kidding? Just seeing Edward would never satisfie me. And seeing Edward was all I'd be able to do, because I couldn't satisfie him.

I pouted and then realized that my lip moved. I was finally awake. I slowly opened my eyes and to my shock I saw:

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	6. A Familiar Sensation Called Jealousy

Disclaimer: You know da drill!

Edward-my Edward. He was waiting for me. I knew he didn't love me-but still; just by seeing him maybe some of that horrible pain in my heart would be healed…maybe.

Aw-hell! Who was I kidding? Just seeing Edward would never satisfy me. And seeing Edward was all I'd be able to do, because I couldn't satisfy him.

I pouted and then realized that my lip moved. I was finally awake. I slowly opened my eyes and to my shock I saw:

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??? POV

Wow. There was Bella-Bella, the name sent half shivers though my back. I would never admit this to any body, but I always had sort of a crush on her! From the first moment I had met her-to now.

It pained me to think that that horrible, evil demon of a human, Edward, I practically sneered his name, had left the angel in front of me. Did he know how much pain he had caused her when he left-and now this? I had heard from multiple people, including Chief Swan about what his daughter had been like when he first left.

Apparently, she had woke up screaming every single night and fell asleep crying. When I bumped into one of her friends, Jessica or something, in Port Angeles one day, she had told me about how Bella never talked to anybody any more…how she was lifeless.

Then about an hour and a half ago I heard from my father who had heard from Charlie that Bella was here; in the hospital.

Carlisle, the nice doctor who was also apparently, a Cullen; had told Charlie it was all a horrible mishap—Bella had tripped with a sharp knife in her fragile hand.

But I knew the truth, I knew that she had tried to commit suicide. And it was all his fault that she had almost been taken away from me—the boy who would one day win her heart.

I heard a faint growl coming from the other side of the hospital room and I turned curiously—wondering what the sound was.

There stood that jerk, pretty boy Edward-and damn did he look mad…

Still I wondered about that growling noise.

Carlisle was now throwing him frequent glances as he checked up on Bella, which got me wondering if Edward had made the growling noise…

"Um-Carlisle, I'm hungry-I think I am going to go downstairs and get a snack from the vending machine."

Edward said in a shaky voice that sounded for some reason furious. Well at least I knew what the growing noises were.

"That's fine Edward-I think I need to get some food myself, mind if I join you?"

I stood there dumbly as they walked quickly outside together, leaving me alone.

I concentrated back on to my Bella—I mean Bella, and to my surprise and joy, her eyes fluttered open!

Bella Pov:

To my shock, I didn't see Edward. In his place was Jacob. The boy I had flirted with at La Push, the boy that had told me about _him_ being a vampire, and the boy that Billy had paid to warn me that they would be watching.

"Um-hello, Jacob…" I trialed of lamely, "err, not to be rude or anything but—why are you here exactly?"

He gave out a low throaty laugh and the sound sent me laughing shyly with him. I was completely shocked-I had not laughed in months! I tried it out again, and to my surprise, I liked the warm, buttery feeling on top of months of dread that it gave me.

After we had finished laughing, I tried again.

"So seriously-why are you here Jacob?"

He shrugged innocently.

"I guess I just wanted to make sure you were allrightt, Charlie told me all about how you…fell with a knife in your hand."

I could tell Jacob really knew what I had tried to do, and I blushed and looked down—ashamed.

"Um—yeah, I am awfully clumsy you know." I gave out a weak, nervous laugh.

"Bella-you are a terribly liar, but don't worry I won't tell any one."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Jacob."

"Call me Jake." He said in a light, happy voice.

"Okay…Jake. Sounds good, I like you."

I froze-what had I just said?

"Um—I mean like it. I like it, the name Jake."

I looked down and blushed furiously. I also felt ashamed at myself-I was not Jacob's girl!

I was Edward's! No matter if he wanted me or not. I was always Edward's.

Jacob interrupted my mental hysterics by calmly saying,

"It's okay-I didn't mind." He then grinned.

I grinned back.

And that's when Edward burst through the door.

Edward's Pov:

Great. Just great. I already had enough on my plate when that Jacob strolled though the door looking for Bella. In addition, I could not kick him out of the hospital because he had Charlie's consent to be here.

I had been trying to block off his annoying, obnoxious, heart breaking thoughts but the newest revenue burst though my mind when I let my guard down an inch.

_But I knew the truth; I knew that she had tried to commit suicide. And it was all his fault that she had almost been taken away from me—the boy who would one day wins her heart_

ONE DAY WIN HER HEART? What the hell did that mean? Had he been trying to flirt with Bella while I had been gone? No! She was mine! All mine! No one else could have her!

I tried to calm myself down—she wasn't mine anymore. I had given her up like the fool I was. But if she would only have me back then he would never so much think about her without me killing him ever again.

I closed my eyes but couldn't help let slip the small growl I had been holding in.

Carlisle shot me a frantic look as _Jacob_ peered curiously at me.

I improvised and blamed it on a hungry stomach. His thoughts told me he bought it. I nodded at Carlisle so fast a human's eye could not pick it up and started to walk off.

I heard Carlisle make up an excuse about also being hungry and follow along my side.

Once we were about two or three hallways down he turned to me.

"Edward. You must be more careful to hold in your vampire instincts around humans."

I sighed-but only because I knew he was right.

"I know Carlisle, I know. But if only you had heard his thoughts about my Bella then,"

He held up one pale white finger.

"Another thing Edward-about Bella, she is no longer yours. You left her, you must deal with the consequences-please understand that she is not your Bella any more."

Those words crushed my heart-hearing another say it was again all to real.

I nodded, depressed and then started to head back to the room.

I had two hallways to cross when I heard Bella laugh. She was awake! I wanted to burst out running to her but their were other people in the hallways. So I had to walk.

Curiosity flared in me-why was she laughing?

"Hmm-Jake…I like you."

I heard her laugh. And then I froze, horrified. She liked him? Oh-this was so horrible! Again my jealous side perked up and began screaming death threats at Jacob. Mine! She was mine-not his!

I began walking faster, ready to teach that boy a lesson.

Then I heard my angel try to deny what she had let slipped-but I could see she really did like him. The thought broke my heart.

"It's okay, I don't mind."

I heard Jacob say softly. I snarled-sure he didn't mind, oh he didn't mind at all. Forget about teaching him a lesson-he wouldn't live to end the day.

I began running as fast as humanly possible though the halls.

Forget what Carlisle said about Bella not being mine. She was, and she would be always.

I burst though the door of Bella's hospital room and saw her grinning.

"Get away from my girlfriend!"

Heat coursed though my veins as I yelled this at him. He merely rolled his eyes and scowled at me.

"She's not yours anymore. And I was just talking to her-I didn't know that was a crime."

"I'll teach you a crime-get away from my Bella."

We were at each other's throats now and I couldn't help but notice that he smelled-worse than most human's blood.

It still smelt good-but just a little…I don't know—I just couldn't place the scent.

"I'm four feet away from her-how do you expect me to get any further?"

"Back up I said!" I screamed at him. And that's when I heard the most sad sound of my existence-Bella crying.

**Yeah! I got another chapter up before Friday. Just because ya'll were so good at reviewing! Keep it up! Oh-and the fortieth reviewer will get to be a hot nurse who hits on Edward on his way out next, or next, next chapter. **

**So if you want to be a hot nurse then just leave your name! If the fortieth reviewer does not want to be a hot nurse than the reviewer after that get's to be one! **


	7. Arguing with Fate

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight---bad things would have happened to Jacob. Did bad things happen-no, he got a perfect like with a baby named Renesmee. No offense.

"_Get away from my girlfriend!"_

_Heat coursed though my veins as I yelled this at him. He merely rolled his eyes and scowled at me._

"_She's not yours anymore. And I was just talking to her-I didn't know that was a crime."_

"_I'll teach you a crime-get away from my Bella."_

_We were at each other's throats now and I couldn't help but notice that he smelled-worse than most human's blood._

_It still smelt good-but just a little…I don't know—I just couldn't place the scent._

"_I'm four feet away from her-how do you expect me to get any further?"_

"_Back up I said!" I screamed at him. And that's when I heard the most sad sound of my existence-Bella crying._

Edward Pov:

"Bella love, please stop crying!" I begged. That just made her sobs harder. My poor belittled heart shrank even smaller.

"Bella-really, please, tell me how to make it better. Where does it hurt?"

She just shook her head and tried to hide her face. That in it self was a difficult task because of all the I.V's, and blood transmitters placed into her fragile skin.

"Jacob-get out. I need to talk to Bella…please." I said through gritted teeth. To my surprise, he complied silently, and his thoughts were all about Bella-worrying about Bella to be exact.

"Bella love-please tell my why you are crying."

I could tell she couldn't talk at the moment because of all the tears that were pouring into her mouth so I just curled up in a little fetal position at the bottom of the bed and began to mentally chastise myself. I didn't know why she was crying but I knew I had caused it somehow. I deserved to die.

It was about fifteen minutes before Bella could finally talk. Her words shocked me.

"Why are you here?"

She asked me in a small, squeaky voice. I resisted the urge to start dry crying. Why was I here? Did she really think I would just let her die? I shuddered at that word.

"Why wouldn't I be here?"

"You should have let me die."

I gasped and anger flashed in my eyes. I growled slowly, trying not to scare Bella but not being able to hold my frustration in. How could I just 'let her die'?" She was my life-my everything.

"You heard me, you should have just left me there. Now I have to deal with all the pain."

I was surprised at how fast my mood had changed from furiousness to concern.

"It hurts? Where and how much, do you need more medicine?"

"No, not that pain, thought it does hurt too."

"Then what pain Bella?"

I think I knew what she meant, but I didn't want to admit that.

"Could you really not know, Edward? Did you know the hell I've been through for the past three months? If Charlie hadn't been here I would of died long ago; but I had to take care of him. I had to be responsible! I had to try to do something with my life while carrying around a 500 pound load of needles that struck my heart every single second. Every little thing reminded me of you Edward; every single thing ripped me into shreds. I had to get rid of all my books and because every time I looked at them my heart broke even more. I haven't laughed in three months, haven't even talked to any body! How could you leave so suddenly? How could you just leave without calling me or anything? How could you?"

The sobs were back and puddles were forming on her clothes. I was shocked—had I really hurt her that much? Yes…yes I had. I was about ready to rip myself into pieces and burn them. If she didn't forgive me and want me back, I would.

"Bella-I will never, ever leave you. I love you. Please believe me when I say that everything I said in the forest was a lie. A lie Bella! I just wanted to protect you! Please, listen to me!"

I begged her, cringing waiting for her to yell. Instead she did something worse…she began to cry even harder.

"I don't believe this. It's not true, it can't be! Please don't lie to me! Wake up Bella! Wake up!"

She started slapping herself and crying, trying to 'wake up.' Red welts began to form on her arm.

I grabbed onto her hand and said in a panicked cry, "Bella, you'll hurt yourself!"

"Oh, as if you haven't already done the job for me!"

I froze at her harsh words. Her harsh, true words.

I slowly withdrew my hands and looked at myself, horrified. I was a monster, a cruel evil monster that didn't deserve a life.

I quickly leapt off Bella's gurney and sat on a chair. I put my head in between my hand and pinched the bridge of my nose.

A half second later I heard more crying, louder this time-as if she was going into hysterics.

I got up, half afraid to go over their again.

Carlisle saved me from the decision. He strolled into the room a clip board in hand and started to move around Bella. Pulling at things and adjusting others.

"Edward-I need to check on Bella, I think she has enough new blood in her too, so I can take out that. My estimate is that she will have to stay in here for about another week. Of that week she will mostly be asleep because of the meds we had to put in her. Those should kick in about ten seconds from now. After that I have to talk to you. It's important."

I nodded grimly and watched as Bella slowly drifted to sleep, tears still wet on her face.

I sat there looking at her and noticed how beautiful Bella was-even on her deathbed.

Her face was as ghostly pale as mine today, but her chocolate brown eyes seemed to melt it a little. Wild dark brown hair cascaded around her, tangled from the hell she had been in that day and her lips looked so tempting I had to turn away.

"I heard the whole thing Edward-we really hurt her didn't we?"

I hated the way he said we-trying to take a little blame in it. I was the only criminal here.

"Yes, I did Carlisle. And I am so, so sorry for it. She hates me now Carlisle. She really, really hates me."

"Well…I can't find it in my heart to defend you right now; but be assured that one day she will find it in heart to forgive you."

"Sure she will…and I'll turn human."

Carlisle sighed and then the door burst open and Alice and Emmet ran in.

They both looked furious.

I sighed as I heard Emmet's thoughts:

_Oh my God! Bella did that to herself because we all left her…no because Edward made us! My poor sister, I am going to kill Edward." _

I wouldn't object to that…

Emmet grabbed me roughly around the arm and yanked me out the door into the deserted hallway. I could tell he thought Bella was simply asleep not drugged and that he might wake her by yelling at me.

Alice followed, her eyes glaring at me.

I just stood numbly, looking at them for a minute before Alice's eyes melted into sadness.

"How could we Edward? How could you make us leave? Now-now look at her! It's worse than the James incident!"

I just nodded my head limply.

"You idiot! This is all your fault! Jackass, shit head, un deserving little—"

Alice stopped Emmet's little rant by putting her hand over his mouth. I sighed, I deserved to be called much worse than that. And all those things were true too.

"No Alice…I deserve to be called those things. I deserve to die."

"Yes, you do Edward. But Bella wouldn't want that, so I guess you shouldn't…"

Emmet had escaped Alice's hold and he was now yelling at me again. The whole Bella wouldn't want that thing reminded me.

"No, actually Emmet. Bella doesn't want me…she-she, I think she hates me you guys. But who would blame her?"

Emmet and Alice both looked shocked and then Emmet shook his head.

"Edward-I bet Bella really does love you deep down, of course she shouldn't after what you did, but still…"

If Emmet thought that, then maybe just maybe, there was a trickle of hope?"

"Err-thanks Emmet, really…thanks,"

"Yeah, it's ok Edward. I just can't believe how bad she had it."

I nodded my head, ashamed.

Carlisle came out then.

"Okay, I cleaned up most of the blood off of Bella if you three would like to see her without torturing yourselves. Oh, and Alice and Emmet Bella won't be away pretty much at all for the next week. She needs to get much bed rest, and Edward I am sorry to tell you this but I am afraid that seeing you will get her emotions all jumbled and it could interfere with her healing process. So I will need you to stay away until she wakes up."

Pain seared through me at having to go another whole week without seeing her face, but I knew she wouldn't want me to see her so I agreed.

"Oh, and Edward...in the meantime, Esmee is on her way, she was a bit farther away then Alice and Emmet if you would like to send her up, and you can go tell Jasper that she is OK, and well…you can inform Rosalie that she is fine too…I suppose. Oh, and just in case you don't want to see Charlie quite yet, he is going to arrive in about 10 minutes or so, just to let you know."

I nodded my head and then left to do the tasks I had been assigned and to hunt. I didn't think that me eating Bella for a get well present would go very well.

_1 week later: _

Edward Pov: It had been a horrifying week without Bella, knowing she as so close. I had avoided Charlie seeing as I didn't want to deal with him, and had sulked in the woods until I got the call from Carlisle telling me I could come see her if I wished.

And did I wish…

Bella Pov:

I felt super groggy, I had pretty much been asleep for the whole week and the only time I had been awake I had to eat and drink and well…pee. I saw Alice and Emmet and Esmee a few times.

Alice had broke down dry sobbing when I had looked at her almost afraid. I was afraid inside-that she would leave me again. But then everything had worked out OK.

So basically I was friends with them by the time I had woke up for good.

I would have no lasting after effects, and if I did I was to see Carlisle immediately. I hadn't seen Edward again, but Alice told me he would be back by the end of the week.

I hadn't asked, but I guess she knew I was curious…

I felt horrified at what I had said to him, and wanted very much to apologize…even though inside I was still very much in pain. Maybe I could convince him to stay in Forks if I didn't nag him, or even acknowledge him, as long as I could still look at him…

Jacob had also been visiting, and I found that I really did like him as a friend. He was super funny, and sort of cute in a weird way too.

It was about noon so I was anticipating lunch, and so when the door opened I sure didn't expect _him_ to walk in.

He looked more god like than I could imagine, and I had a hard time keeping my tears in my eyes.

He looked at me almost afraid.

"E-Edward?"

I asked shakily.

"Bella?"

He seemed confused.

All was still for a second before we both blurted out at the same time,

"I am so sorry!"

I blushed and he looked even more confused.

"Why are you sorry Bella? This is all my fault, everything is my fault, I am such an idiot, if you want me to go away and never come back Bella I will. I was such an idiot for leaving you! I just wanted to protect you, for you not to be around vampires I never thought—"

I broke him off, I couldn't stand him lying for my sake.

"It wasn't your fault Edward. I'm the one to blame, if I had been more interesting you never would have left and then…"

I trailed off.

Edward looked mad enough to kill for some reason.

"You think that I left because I didn't love you, Bella you are everything to me, I really left because I wanted to protect you…can't you believe that? I'll make you believe that Bella."

And then he sprang at me and caught my lips in a passionate kiss. A kiss that broke my heart, because I knew things couldn't go back to the way they were-not yet.

It took all my strength to push him away and his expression looked some what heart broken.

"I'm sorry Edward. Please, let's just be friends for now…I don't think I can go back to the way they were…I'm not sure I can forgive you…yet. Maybe when I do then we can be together, but please not now."

He nodded, apparently upset.

"Of course Bella, I should have known better…we can be friends."

There was an awkward silence which was interrupted thankfully by Jacob bursting in and capturing me in a wild hug.

"Yeah, my Bella is better."

I grinned at him, before hearing a soft growl. I looked frantically at Edward, trying to get him to stop. He stopped growling but Jacob seemed to sense him there and he whirled around.

"Oh, you're back."

"Yes I am, and what did I say about being close to Bella?"

I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness but secretly I sort of liked it.

"Back off jerk, she's not your girl. Leave us alone."

Edward's expression was unreadable for a millisecond and then I gasped at I was scooped up into his arms.

Edward's Pov.

I scooped Bella up bridal style and started to hurry down the hall and chose the right corner to cross. Her eyes bugged out for half a second and then she froze…she seemed numb for some reason.

I stopped jogging and looked at her-worried.

"What's wrong Bella…did I-I hurt you when I picked you up?"

She shook her small head and a tear glistened on her cheek. I quickly wiped it off of her with my pinky finger.

"Please tell me Bella. I need to know what is wrong."

"Nothing Edward-it's just that, that…that, well it kind of reminded me of the old days. You know-with me in your arms while you ran."

She gave a shaky laugh and I looked deep into her mesmerizing chocolate eyes.

"Believe me when I say this Isabella, there will be many more of those days to come. Your whole lifetime."

We both froze at that. I let out a sigh and she let out a similar one, neither of us lingered on that subject; we were both to exhaust for another battle. Her physically, myself mentally. I knew she just wanted to be friends…but could I really do that?

I just gazed at her perfect eyes and her perfect face and gently traced the outside of it.

She trembled beneath my feather light touch and then she sighed. I sighed too.

"Edward—I, I think I for,"

My heart stopped. Could she possibly have forgiven me already? Had the angel forgiven the devil? It seemed unlikely, yet…

"BELLA! Bella! Wait up-what is that Edward's problem?"

Ugh…not now, anytime but now…that insolent human just had to find us right when I was possibly about to be forgiven by my Bella. I mentally cursed him.

Then he realized Bella was in my arms and gave me a nasty scowl.

_Dang it! She's in his arms…she couldn't have possibly forgiven him already? Could she have? No. Bella's strong; she would never do such a thing. Oh well-even if she is dating him I will still make her fall in love with me before long. After all that Edward is kind of weird—almost like the legends. Cold, pale…amazing good looking. That must be why Bella likes him so much-his looks, and his money probably. I better start working part time somewhere…_

I darkened my gaze at him and he involuntarily stepped back.

"Edward is right here."

I spoke firmly to him, and he shuddered. I wickedly grinned. I noticed however that Bella didn't look to happy…

Jealously flared once again though my system, and my inner vampire longed to lunge at Jacob's throat.

"I am taking Bella to…her house, so she can rest. She may be healed, but she still needs rest."

Jacob rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Good luck handling Charlie."

I froze and then sighed, I would have to face him sometime. I just hoped he wouldn't try to shoot me and expose our secret.

I carried Bella down to the lobby, and she was biting her inner lip, fretting about Charlie probably.

We were about to he door when Bella coughed. "Um-Edward, can I go to the bath room really quick?"

I nodded slowly, and reluctantly put her down. She jogged over to the bath room amazingly not tripping.

I stood looking at the girl's room-waiting for Bella to come out. It had only been five seconds and I was already missing her.

Suddenly I heard a small shuffle of feet, and some very…different thoughts surprised me.

I turned around and saw a nurse standing there. She looked about twenty three. I read the thoughts of some near by passers. The men were kind of jealous of me-apparently the nurse's name was Alexi Nikita and she had all the doctor's and male nurses, besides Carlisle, drooling after her. And this was only her second day working here.

I supposed to human eyes she looked rather desirable. A man around twenty five waiting for his _wife _to come out of a check up began to gaze at her.

_Wow! Look at that lady. Wow, her figure-she must be six feet tall-and that hair! Oh I just want to run my fingers through it-it looks soo smooth. And those sparkling eyes, and her ooooh, her lips! So red and plump! I wonder if Mary will be mad if I…dang it…if only I wasn't taken._

Nurse Nikita took me from my thoughts by saying confidently,

"Oh no baby, don't turn around-I was enjoying the view."

She smirked at me, and stepped 'sexily' toward me. The man who was waiting for his wife was practically drooling.

"Um-I'm sorry, but I have a girlfriend." I quickly said to her, trying not to encourage her.

"Oh what a coincidence-I have a boyfriend. But let's not details get between us. In fact I think we have a lot of room between us. Let me fix that."

She took two more quick steps toward me. She was now about one foot away. I edged backwards. This lady was seriously…creepy.

_What is that guy doing? If I had an oppourtinity with her I'd grab it!"_

I shook my head disgustedly, this lady made Jessica's advances on me look cute.

"Um, sorry Nurse Nikita, but I really have to go. Do you need anything?"

"Oh…call me Alexis, or Bee that's my nickname." She purred, coming even closer to me.

"And I actually do need something. I'm new in town as you might already know, and I was wondering; could you show me the way to your house?"

She asked giving me a wink.

Luckily at that exact moment I heard Bella's light foot steps coming from the bath room. Eagerly I whirled around and walked towards that way. Bella tripped while coming out and I caught her in my arms.

I couldn't help myself, I quickly pressed a soft tender peck on her warm lips. Hopefully, she wouldn't want to kill me.

_**Okay, there was that chapter. Since there wasn't a 40**__**th**__** reviewer I just used the three people who wanted to be hot nurses and combined them into one. Congrats on those who reviewed, and please review more to see how Bella reacts to the kiss! Thank you. **_


	8. Heaven Right Smack in the Middle of Hell

_Luckily, at that exact moment I heard Bella's light footsteps coming from the bathroom. Eagerly I whirled around and walked towards that way. Bella tripped while coming out and I caught her in my arms._

_I couldn't help myself; I quickly pressed a soft tender peck on her warm lips. Hopefully, she wouldn't want to kill me_

Bella Pov:

I was overly eager as I headed out of the bathroom…I wanted to see Edward again. I knew it was wrong, I knew that I shouldn't be so enormously attracted to him after I had yelled at him in fury only the last time I saw him, but still he was…well; he was Edward

Of course, me being incapable of even moving a few steps without tripping I fell right as I left the restroom. I prepared mentally and physically for the hard impact that was about to come when I felt myself in Edward's arms.

I almost chuckled mentally as I viewed all the scratches and scrapes I had gotten when I had finally moved around the house without Edward. No one was able to catch me then.

Captured in thought it took me a second to notice his cold, hard _delicious _lips coming toward mine quite quickly. I felt my heart stutter out two jagged beats before his lips touched mine. Slowly, and tenderly he kissed me and then after only a second he rose back up.

The kiss felt like complete and heavenly bliss. It left me craving for more of the incredible taste that was Edward. Was it bad that I was disappointed that he let go so early? I knew it was wrong to want to be kissed by Edward after I had merciless yelled at him a week ago, but what could I say? It was Edward.

I noticed Edward was looking at me with a mixture of worry, guilt, and shame. But there was also a great deal of happiness in those flawless topaz eyes, and they seemed to be hypnotizing me. Out of something that wasn't my mind's free will—my body clung on to Edward and this time it was I who pressed my lips to his.

Edwards Pov:

After surprise kissing her I looked into her deep brown eyes that seemed to be hypnotizing me. There was shock there—I expected that, disappointment which I had been dreading, were my kisses really that bad? There were no signs of anger which really surprised me, but the one thing that made my dead heart leap was that there was bliss in those captivating eyes too.

Then the next second I knew I was floating in a world like heaven, because Bella had pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her softly, tenderly, enjoying the sweet unbearably mouth watering taste and smell of her, and the way her warm soft lips melted into mine. I put my hands on her waist and she slung her arms over my neck, standing up on her tippy toes.

I broke away when I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt like I was going to explode with adoration. The heavenly bliss went from my head to my toes; however it was surrounded by my agony and self-hatred. I didn't deserve this angel. I was ashamed…kissing Bella was heaven right smack in the middle of hell (**AN: Twilight reference : D ) **

We stood there panting for a minute or two, before I decided that Bella should be able to rest.

"Bella, love, you should rest. You are still not fully recovered…I should take you to Charlie's house first because after all he is your Dad but…" I trailed off reluctantly, I knew that Bella would want to go to her Father's house over mine anyways…even if it was possible that she still had some affection for me.

"No! Please, let me go to your house I want—I mean, um…Charlie visited a couple days ago and he seemed to be a little upset about you and your family being here, I don't have the strength to face him."

I sat there staring into her deep brown doe eyes and sighed, I didn't want for her to be worried about Charlie—I was also deeply puzzled over her whole I want comment.

"Fine, you can stay at my house…of course you can, you can whatever you want…whenever you want...forever."

The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them and I immediately realized what Bella would think about the forever part…I had just buried myself into another problem…the subject of my love's immortality.

**Yeah, yeah…I know this chapter was craptastic but it's just a filler—the next chapter will be like way, uh way longer. Anyways this chapter is not Beta-fied. Hopefully the next chapter will be…because I just wanted to get this one out quick! **

**Review please! **


	9. A Day in the Mind of a Hot Nurse

**Okay, dokey! Here is a short little mini tid bit that one of my marvelous reviewers decided that I should do. It centers around Alexis the Hot nurse and her thoughts of seeing and flirting shamelessly with Edward. **

**So everybody give a clap to the wonderful Clara954 for giving me this idea. **

**I like it if I do say so myself! Please review! I give out Edward cookies to people who review!! : D **

I was just about to head outside for a nice long smoke when I saw him.

Him being the most glorious, most beautiful, most _sexy_ man that walked the planet Earth. Unfortunately there was a plain looking girl standing next to him. Lucky for me however, she left a moment later into the ladies room.

I took my chance and strolled toward him—all eyes on me. I fluffed my hair a few times and applied a fresh coat of lip plumper before I stopped about four feet behind him.

I began to drool—he was even finer up close. The muscles in his biceps flexed once in a while as he stiffened, and he looked so toned.

He turned around obviously sensing the opportunity of a life time was standing behind him.

In my most delicious voice I purred,

"Oh no, don't turn around baby, I was enjoying the view." That was the beginning to most all my flirt routines, and it always hooked them.

To my surprise he told me something about already having a girlfriend. Why was he resisting me? No man did. Deciding that I actually liked men who played hard to get I quickly told him about me also having a boyfriend.

I knew he would get jealous…they always did.

I flirted with him for a little while longer, getting more and more confused as to why we weren't already making out hotly in his car. What was up with him?

He must really not want to hurt the little girl's feelings, but I knew I would get him to crack. No man resisted this body.

Before I could make another move **she **came out, and he kissed her!

What the hell? Why did he do that?!?! I was right here-looking hot, and she was right there looking…not hot.

Oh! A light bulb went off in my head, which was almost as big as my boobs of course.

He must be trying to relieve the tension in the air. He wanted me, but he couldn't have me. He knew he didn't deserve a woman like me…because well, nobody did! I mean I was the spitting woman image of perfection.

But he was the spitting man image of perfection we belonged together. But I would wait patiently until he came to the hospital again. Oh yes I would, because we belonged together. And this time I would make sure not to get fired for having an affair with one of the younger trainee's.

I would make certain of that. Because there was only one person in the world that I wanted. And that was him.

**If you are wondering Alexis does not have anything further to do with the story, she is not going to get Edward are hurt Bella like you might think from her twisted Pov. Reviews please! **


	10. Forever

**Hey sorry for not updating for so long, but here is the next chapter. So enjoy! The story is coming near its end-only a few more chapters left : D **

**Disclaimer: (Read previous disclaimers) **

"_Fine, you can stay at my house…of course you can, you can whatever you want…whenever you want...forever."_

_The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them and I immediately realized what Bella would think about the forever part…I had just buried myself into another problem…the subject of my love's immortality._

Bella Pov:

"Forever." Forever-the word brought forth many memories of him concerned over the fact that I wanted to live forever with him as a vampire. I could tell by his sorrowful eyes that he was thinking over the same lines as I was.

"Bella—," his slightly nervous yet still enchanting voice started off slowly, he did not finish the sentence, just let that word hover-a blob of tension and despair-in the air. He grabbed my hand and began to whisk me away to his car, I presumed. I stumbled along behind him, still at clumsy as ever. Even though he was careful not to go at a speedy pace I still slipped over my own shoes and was about to hit the hard concrete when Edward caught me and swung me into his ice cold arms.

I settled myself in the embracing cradle, and tried to mellow the deep shade of crimson that was no doubt on my face again.

I began searching for the shiny Volvo that I had come to almost love, looking to see where Edward had parked his car during his week of absence from my hospital room.

However, it was not the silver Volvo that was waiting in the hospital's parking lot. In its place was Carlisle's Mercedes.

I looked up curiously at Edward. He cleared his throat a few times before saying aloud,

"Um—well, Carlisle said he and Esme would run home, he let us borrow his car."

"Oh, but why aren't we taking the Volvo?"

I saw a flash of sadness cross Edward's face, "Ah-the Volvo isn't here, in fact I kind of managed to rip it into a thousand pieces. It reminded me of you too much when I was…gone."

He hugged me closer to his body for a few seconds before kissing me sweetly on the head. I sighed in unbelievable bliss, almost afraid to believe that this scene was nothing but the first good dream I had had in months.

"You must be craving some good food-I always heard hospital food was undesirable."

"First off-that was kind of random, and second that's actually just a myth-Carlisle's hospital has made the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I have had in a long time, but I am kind of hungry for some more food-I haven't ate in about seven hours, and unlike you guys who can go weeks without food, I am a human."

I teased gently as he set me softly into the passenger seat.

"Hmm—well when we get to my home, I will have to play chef Edward." He chuckled, revving up the engine.

"Indeed you will…oh and Edward. If you don't mind my saying, It think of your house as my home too. It always has been, and it always will. Even when you were gone I still thought of Charlie's house as just a house, not a home."

I saw something smolder in his eyes, something passionate and brighter than any fire I had ever seen, and it stayed in his eye's for a long time and he just sat there silently. Pondering something, then he opened his mouth slightly before closing it once again. He did this three times before turning fully to me.

In his pupils I saw happiness, joy, sadness, and passion.

"No Bella-I don't mind you saying that at all, in fact I think it should be our home…forever. If you really, really, really, want that."

I felt my mouth pop open silently.

"Forever…?" My voice cracked slightly.

"Forever Bella-I made up my mind. If that's want you want."

"Please."

**Okay! Rest assured that is not the end quite yet, but it's not just a practical joke on Edward's part, he really is serious about turning her. Reviews make me type faster : D **


	11. Feeling Whole

Okay sorry for not updating in so long but here is an extra special chapter because my friend, insert name here, has agreed to help me with this chapter. Here fanfiction name is helloayax and she write stories that deal with anime (so far). They are in English (mostly) and are really good so if you want to go check them out and review her stories because they pretty much rock, but yeah so… : D

Disclaimer: Seriously? ; )

_I saw something smolder in his eyes, something passionate and brighter than any fire I had ever seen, and it stayed in his eye's for a long time and he just sat there silently. Pondering something, then he opened his mouth slightly before closing it once again. He did this three times before turning fully to me._

_In his pupils I saw happiness, joy, sadness, and passion._

"_No Bella-I don't mind you saying that at all, in fact I think it should be our home…forever. If you really, really, really, want that."_

_I felt my mouth pop open silently._

"_Forever…?" My voice cracked slightly._

"_Forever Bella-I made up my mind. If that's want you want."_

"_Please."_

Bella Pov:

I waited, a mixture of fear, anticipation, and andreniline overwhelming my thoughts and engulfing my senses.

My neck was inclined slightly, as if making his target clearer and more appealing than it already was. My eyes were closed lightly - ready to spring open at any moment.

I waited in that position for a silent moment or two when I heard a chuckle from Edward's direction. Partly in shock, my eyes flew open and I glared at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing Bella, I just…well first of all I can't be the ludicracy of myself - actually about to turn you into a vampire without consluting Carlisle and the others first - and I would never even imagine turning you into one of us in…well, in a car! I want to make you comfortable enough at least. I was thinking…I was thinking a lot actually…that maybe if Carlisle and myself put enough morphine in you before the actually operation then maybe the pain would be…bearable?"

I felt a smile flit across my expression, the thought of turning into a vampire in _Carlisle's _car was just plain silly.

We both smiled together for a moment before Edward was speeding down the familiar path to the Cullen's house. His driving was as reckless and carefree as ever, but I almost found myself enjoying the sensation.

Edward seemed to notice my relaxed manner-or should I say more relaxed than normal manner, seeing as I was still a bit freaked out, and smiled that same, crooked smile that melted my world like a bar of sweet, suculant chocolate left out in the sun.

Edward parked out in the back of the house and then raced over to my side of the door so he could open the passenger side like a, 'real' gentle man. Those were his quotes, not mine. He scooped me up in his arms once more and carried me into the threshold.

He kissed me sweetly and passionatly again and I was ready to stay that way forever when an obnoxious cough interuppted our 'moment.'

I looked up and to my delight Alice and Emmet were standing there. I had seen both of them at least twice during my stay in the hospital. I had managed to forgive them both on their first visit thanks in main part to Alice's puppy dog eyes.

"You two kids can get back to that later, right now we're celebrating the vampires return to Forks and Bella managed to stay alive-barely-while we were way day."

I blushed profusiovley while Edward growled at Emmet. I rubbed his arm lightly, signaling for him to calm down. I tried to squirm out of his tight grip but that got me nowhere, so I just sat still for a while.

"What are we doing to Celebrate Emmet?" I asked, truly curious, hopefully it was not another party, we all knew what good that did last time.

Instead of Emmet answering Alice jumped up and squealed excitedly, "Oh it will be so much fun Bella! We're having a sort of dance with just our family and you of course! I'm taking you shopping first, and then Rosalie agreed to help me give you a make over!"

I looked down slightly, my relationship, I was sure with Rosalie hadn't progressed much at all.

"Oh! Don't worry Bella, she understands that you and Edward really do love each other and that it's your descision whether you want to date Edward anyways, oh and Edward I need to talk to you in a second, but anyways she will be on her best behavior. In fact she's in Paris getting the dresses for the dance right now! As you know Forks doesn't have much of a selection so…"

Alice spoke faster and faster and her words seemed to become a blur as I was cradeled in my true love's arms, just looking up at his beautiful face. It was the first time I had actually felt whole in a long time.


	12. JoyDespairDarknessEdward

Hey everybody! Thank you so much for all the reviews I've been getting! They really do make me write faster! I can't believe how many visitors I've been getting to this story! I just checked it today and I was like whoa I didn't expect that many! I was thinking I was in the hundreds but there is around 1500 views to the story so far. For that reason this chapter will be extra long. : D

Disclaimer: Déjà vu much?

_I looked down slightly, my relationship, I was sure with Rosalie hadn't progressed much at all._

"_Oh! Don't worry Bella, she understands that you and Edward really do love each other and that it's your descision whether you want to date Edward anyways, oh and Edward I need to talk to you in a second, but anyways she will be on her best behavior. In fact she's in Paris getting the dresses for the dance right now! As you know Forks doesn't have much of a selection so…"_

_Alice spoke faster and faster and her words seemed to become a blur as I was cradeled in my true love's arms, just looking up at his beautiful face. It was the first time I had actually felt whole in a long time._

Edwards Pov:

Bella had currently just been sent home to her house to change her clothes and of course talk to Charlie and let him know she was all right. Emmet had driven her, and even though I couldn't read her mind, her eyes told the whole story. Her mouth had said the whole story too though.

"Edward! I don't need a driver, why can't I drive myself?!"

That little stubborn pout had formed on her mouth and I grinned down at her.

"Bella—humor me just this once. I get…uneasy when your alone with out any protection."

That was an understatement. I hated her being alone—all the things that could happen to fragile humans had twice as much of a chance of harming Bella, my little danger magnet.

"But Edward, I've driven alone a million times!"

"Well there you go Bella, you've driven alone a million times-but how many times have you rode in a car with Emmet as a driver? New experiences should be the highlight of your day, love."

That was the first time since before I had stupidly left Bella that I had called her love. My non beating heart almost warmed at the prospect that she didn't fight back when I called her that, in fact a huge grin began to tug at the corners of her mouth as she realized the word I had used.

"Fine, I'll let Emmet drive me, but only because for you."

I caught the words in my heart and planned to keep them there forever. Forever. The scene played out in my head, a glimpse of myself looking into the future.

My sweet loving angel Bella clad in a silk dress with freesia in her hair, lying down on a grand feather soft bed. My teeth sinking into the pulse point right at her neck, tasting the sweeter than sweet wine that was her blood. Then pulling out with hard earned control and finally three days later: keeping Bella forever. Forever with me. I smiled, I wanted that, I wanted that so badly!

I did not just want it I needed it, every single pore in my body cried out for me to change Bella. To make her a vampire, to keep her for all of eternity, my Bella. I was broken out of my thoughts by Alice's chiming little voice.

"Oh, thinking of that course of future Edward, I need to talk to you."

"Of course, Alice." I replied, wondering what she was planning on telling me about my decision. She had blocked her mind from me by reciting all three of the Japanese alphabets backwards.

I followed her into the kitchen, she shut the door with a gentle bang and then hugged me and squealed.

I chuckled once. Alice would be Alice of course.

"Oh Edward! I can't believe you really are going to change her! Can you imagine Bella with us forever?"

I nodded once. Yes…I could imagine that, of course I could. In fact I was pretty sure I was nodding more than once and that crooked grin of mine that always enchanted Bella was pretty much carved onto my face.

"I already told Carlisle about your decision; I hope you don't mind me telling him instead of you! But I called him up the moment you decided which was I assume sometimes coming home from the hospital. He approved of course, saying that it was your and Bella's decision and he said that he'd bring home some morphine and we could try that later. When is the exact date anyway Edward?"

"Well…we haven't exactly planned a date yet. And of course there are the complications that we haven't been thinking about…what about Charlie? What about finishing high school?"

My heart sank at those thoughts. I had rushed the decision in my own desire.

"Oh I already thought of those. Of course Charlie is going to be more than heartbroken when Bella dies in a car crash when the engine explodes. Closed Casket Ceremony you see. And Bella can do high school some other time. You know how many times we've been through it. She can make it up any time she likes."

Was it sick that my heart seemed to almost be jumping in joy? I should be focusing on Charlie's poor heart but all I could think about was Bella was still going to be mine forever.

"Okay, a car crash, I guess that will have to work. But your right Charlie is going to be more than heartbroken."

I waited for Alice to respond but instead I saw a very distant look in her eye, I knew her well enough to know that she was having another vision.

"Oh! Speaking of Charlie, poor Bella. Her and Emmet just got to Charlie's place and he can see Bella getting out of the car."

Instead of listening to Alice speak I simply read her mind and looked at the scene which was going to go on in a few seconds. She was inside hugging Charlie.

"_Bella! How could you do that? Carlisle told me all about how you were wondering through his house and tripped with a knife in your hand? Why would even pick up the knife? And do you know how lucky you are that Esmee decided she didn't like big city life and wanted to come back to Forks. Carlisle said by the time he found you, you were almost dead!" _

_Bella winced and sighed. "I'm sorry Ch-Dad, I really am. I just…well the knife was pretty and I wanted to look at it. I um—well it had a jewel encrusted handle…and so yeah…" _

"_Well Bella I guess your safe and that's all that really matters."_

"_Thanks Dad-I'm going to go upstairs and change really quick okay?" _

"_Wait! Bella—are they, I mean—well is, he back?" _

I sighed and winced I knew I would pop up into the conversation—like I deserved of course—sooner or later.

"_Yes Dad. Edward, is back. In fact I'm kind of hanging out with them tonight." _

"_Not when you live under this roof Bella! I don't want you being with him! He's a horrible influence! And when he left you. Bella you were never the same. You had no life in you, the night mares, the screams that woke me up and night every single night were horrific. Bella he is a bad kid, not one that I want with my daughter." _

I winced and clutched at my chest such agonizing pain was thrusting though my whole body with every second that passed me by. How could I have done that to Bella?

"_Dad, Edward is not a bad influence! He had no choice in the matter of his moving…" _

How so untrue. I had every choice. I was the reason.

_  
"Still Bella-you are not to see him if you live under this roof and that is final!" _

I took in my angel's shocked and sad face. I wish I could make it happy.

"_Fine!" _

What? I fell to my knees, Bella couldn't decide to stay away from me…that was unfair! Unbearingly unfair. I needed Bella, she couldn't stay away from me…I wouldn't allow it! I tried to calm down my thoughts, f Bella wanted to stay away from me then she had the right. The calming was in vain, my thought were headed into the direction of…well…kidnapping her from Charlie's house. I tried to beat them back but no matter how I tried to silence them they kept on coming.

Charlie stood shocked on the stairs for a moment and I saw Bella running upstairs to her room. There was much banging around.

"_Fine Bella? Thank you for once you actually listened to me about this Edward kid. Hmm—maybe Jacob Black, I think he has a crush on you Bella I bet he could be a thousand times better than that Edward kid." _

Hard core anger pulsed in my chest, I would kill Jacob Black before allowing him to touch Bella. I would kill every male in the world rather than them date Bella.

"_No Dad…I meant fine as in if I can't see Edward under this roof, than I don't life under this roof." _

I almost jumped in shock as Bella thumped down the stairs carrying a small suitcase. She marched right out the door without even saying good bye to a beyond shocked Charlie. She climbed back into Emmet's car and then the second she closed the door she burst out into tears.

I was 75 % beyond happy and 25 % mourning. On one side I was so joyous that Bella had picked me, she had wanted me more than her own father, and now no kidnapping would be necessary…once again I had to banish that thought from my mind.

But on the other hand I was sad for Bella. I knew how hard this must be on her, and with every tear she cried it made me want to cry with her.

"Poor Bella…" I had almost forgotten Alice was here, and she looked sad too.

"And for a second there Edward, I saw something in your future about kidnapping Bella! And killing Jacob Black—someone's not as innocent as we all thought you were."

I hung my head in shame.

"It's alright Edward, you love Bella more than anything and just because you feel the need to kill every boy that has a crush on her isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"Thanks Alice."

"It's fine. Now go comfort Bella she's coming in 54 seconds. Oh, and then tell her to get ready! I know the perfect thing that will cheer her up! Shopping for our ball gowns for tonight's dance! Oh and I'll be sure to pick up that silk dress too Edward. And the freesia."

**Reviews make me VERY HAPPY! And they make me write faster! So review please!!!!!! Review and I will write a longer chapter next time!!! Thank you!!! **


	13. Authors Note Explanations

Hey Everybody,

Sorry for not posting anything in like a long while. However, this time I do have excuses. Well for three whole weeks I went with my sister and Mother to South Korea and we just got back. I did write most of the story on my sister's laptop while in Korea so it shouldn't take that much longer, but I have to get her laptop and finish the chapter before posting. So it should be like two more days. But again, thanks for being patience, and I'm pretty much done writing the whole story and there is two more chapters left.

-Twilightluverperson


	14. A Dance to Remember

**Sorry for not writing so long---see previous chapter for crappy explanation. Thank you. ; ) **

"_It's alright Edward, you love Bella more than anything and just because you feel the need to kill every boy that has a crush on her isn't necessarily a bad thing."_

"_Thanks Alice."_

"_It's fine. Now go comfort Bella she's coming in 54 seconds. Oh, and then tell her to get ready! I know the perfect thing that will cheer her up! Shopping for our ball gowns for tonight's dance! Oh and I'll be sure to pick up that silk dress too Edward. And the freesia."_

_Edward Pov: _

We both laughed briefly but then the laughter stopped when we heard Emmet's car drive into the garage. A few seconds later I heard Bella's door open. Both Alice and I went to wait by the garage door. Bella entered then-her face was red and dried tears stained her shirt and ran down her face.

"_Man-you should of saw her before in the car Edward! It was much worse than this! I felt so bad for her-you know Charlie meant a lot to her-ya know?" _

Emmet's thoughts ambushed me-I nodded once just to acknowledge the fact that I had heard him. I felt bad too. But above that I felt heartbreakingly useless. I didn't know what to do! I had never seen her cry like this before!

I just stood there like an idiot while Alice went to comfort her. She squeezed her gently, and repeated,

"Don't worry Bella, it will all turn out fine."

"You don't understand Alice! I hurt him so bad by moving out! And I can't move back in-because-well I don't think he'll want me to move back in!"

More tears started to fall and Esme was there with a handkerchief. By now, the whole family was standing by watching, they all looked solemn and sad-Jasper had it the worse.

"Of course he'll want you to move back in Bella! Even though-well seeing as you'll be a vampire anyways-"

I realized what a horrible person I sounded like so I shut up. Then I also realized the only people who so far new about that news were Alice and Carlisle.

_What?! They already decided about turning her into a vampire? Well that's good-seeing as I won't thirst for her blood anymore-but wow Edward you could of told me!-Jasper_

_Yay! Now everybody knows-you know how I am with secrets Edward! –Alice_

_Bella's being turned into one of us?! But she has so much potential as a human! I mean I know I agreed that I don't care that one day maybe-but she just is throwing her life away-well at least Edward is happy…-Rosalie_

_Yes! Oh-Carlisle already told me-but Yes! Yes! Yes! –Esme_

_Wow-where is the truth of brotherhood man-you could of told me!-Emmet_

I tried to tune out all the voices in my head in vain.

"Yeah, I guess. But still-I just, I shouldn't have-not like this!" Bella burst out, but she was calming down, the tears had stopped.

"It's okay Bella-let it all out. Do you want to take a rest or anything?" I asked politely.

"No thanks, I'm fine, I-I'm fine Edward I think…thanks."

I nodded once and then Alice exploded, "Oh Bella! Guess what? Me and Rose already have your dress and everything! Now we get to go upstairs and get you ready while the boys get the dance floor ready, I'm sure it will take your mind off of Charlie anyways!"

Bella hesitated but couldn't refuse Alice anything. She was dragged upstairs-unable to know of all the Bella-Barbie playing that was going to take place.

______________________________________________________________________-----

Bella Pov-

I sat, squirming in my chair, as Alice and Rosalie played Barbie Bella on me. They both had different theme ideas. Alice claimed she going for a hot formal model look while Rosalie argued the pros of a sexy princess theme. I just wanted whichever one gave me less time in the chair of torture. Apparently both had bought a dress of their likings for me so that their design would mix in well with the dress.

"Fine, how bout whichever dress Bella likes best will decide who gets to design her look!" Exclaimed Alice after what seemed like hours of Alice and Rosalie bickering.

Rosalie pondered the idea for a half a second before nodding curtly and running to retrieve both dresses. She was back before I had blinked twice. The dresses were hidden from view in black dress bags and though I did hate the fact that Rosalie and/or Alice was spending money on me I could feel curiosity bubble inside me.

"Oh!! Let me show Bella my dress first please! You'll l-o-v-e it Bella! It is so gorgeous, it will really bring out your cheekbones and the color is a magnificent blue-Edward's favorite on you, you know- and the back dips like this, and it has little ruffles around your waist and-,"

I broke Alice off, "Alice! Why don't you just show me the dress?"

I chuckled silently at the flicker of embarrassment that flashed across Alice's face before she whipped out the dress gracefully with a single movement of her pale white hand and showed it off proudly.

I think my mouth must have dropped open when I laid eyes on that magnificent dress, it truly was to say it short, spectacular.

It was a rich deep sea blue color with a ruffled waistline. It dipped to around mid back and had small blue straps criss-crossing throughout the dip. Sequins embroidered the very bottom of the dress which would stop just around my calves. It was strapless too which gave the right touch to the overall finish.

Alice noted my staring with glee and exclaimed in her high little chiming voice, "Oh! You like it don't you Bella? You really do like it?!"

"Like it?! Are you kidding me Alice I love it, it's so beautiful!"

I imagined myself in Edward's arm-spinning me round and round in this dress just like he had done at the Forks Prom last year. This dress was worthy enough to be in Edward's presence.

Alice clapped and squealed excitedly and then turned smugly to Rosalie.

"See Rose—I told you she would like mine."

Rosalie smiled sweetly at her but I could see some sort of small menace in her eyes.

"Like yes, like better than mine—I don't think so. Presenting dress number two, Bella."

I gasped when I saw Rosalie's dress; it was as good, if not better than Alice's. It too was a shade of blue, this time midnight. It had little twinkling stars covering parts of the dress and at the hemline it had tiny, though sewn with a lot of detail, castles every other inch. The back on this dress also dipped about as low as Alice's, but instead of straps it had one big bow right about where the middle of the gap between the small buttoned strip of cloth at the top and the remaining bottom half of the dress was.

The bow was swirled with a blue the same color as the dress itself and a blue that was around two shades lighter. In the very middle of the bow was a tiny little button. Instead of being strapless it had a halter top like design with two elegant swirled ribbons tying around the neck. The bottom billowed out slightly so as to give a princess like effect.

Rose interrupted my ogling.

"So I take it you like this dress Bella?"

"Yes! It's so pretty, I love the ribbon parts-where did you guys manage to find both of these dresses?"

Alice laughed, "We didn't find them Bella, we designed them. And then we had one of the most talented French designers bring them to life."

"How much did that cost?!" I gasped, looking with new awe at both dresses.

"Bella! Is that a polite way to be given two dresses?"

"But Alice!"

"No buts, prices do not matter in this family Bella! And before you say a thing you are most defiantly part of this family! I thought we told you this!" Alice didn't look stern, just a little bit annoyed—apparently I was putting a sort of damper on her vicarious fun.

"Sorry Alice." I mumbled weakly.

A bright smile lit up her porcelain features.

"Don't worry about it Bella-now whose dress do you like best?"

"Wait-another question Alice-how did you get these dresses in one day?"

" We had them made a week ago, when you were in the hospital. We had already planned this dance of course-duh."

"Oh right, sorry," I looked down blushing slightly.

"No problem-now pick Bella! Stop stalling!"

I put my head down for a minute to think, I would love to be seen in the pretty dress of Alice's, but Rosalie's was equally beautiful, and I liked the halter top more than I liked the strapless, but on the other hand I liked the lighter blue color of Alice's dress. I sighed in defeat.

Both Rose and Alice were watching me like hawks now, searching for a sign that I would pick their masterpiece. When I sighed both Alice and Rose's faces lit up in smug like smiles, thinking that I had decided on theirs.

"I say a tie. I love both equally. I really can't choose, and I'm not lying." Rosalie and Alice gasped like it would sheer absurdity of me not liking either better_. _

"Well now what are we going to do?" Alice huffed, clearly disappointed that I had not picked her work of art.

"I have an idea," I offered hesitantly.

"Well—go on Bella," Rosalie said, her face frowning gently.

"How bout, whoever doesn't do the make up design, gets to put me in their ridiculously pretty dress."

Rosalie and Alice both looked shocked at my win-win situation, as if neither of them had considered that particular idea.

"Hmm—I like it Rose, what about you?"

"Yes, I think I do. Do you mind her wearing your dress Alice? I really do know the perfect way to put up her hair and do the makeup. But of course you could _help." _

Alice nodded, her eyes sparkling in joy.

"Yay, Bella you are going to look bee-you-ta-full."

"Thanks Alice. Okay, well we better hurry up, the dance starts at 8:30 doesn't it? And it is now-7:00. And you two still need to get ready."

"Oh don't worry Bella, with the speed at which we get dressed ours won't take more than 10 minutes. Now, go change into this dress while Rose gives me the game plan of your facial design."

Alice Pov:

The moment Bella was gone Rose began rapidly explaining her makeup design. I desperately wanted to do Bella's makeup and hair myself but in the end I decided that Bella would look better in my dress and that it was for her own personal sake.

"Well Alice, I think we should let her hair down with this dress, but curl it gently, so it's in loose waves, and then after that just leave it. It will look really good with her skin tone and that dress, and then put this Stiletto mascara on of course, she doesn't really need foundation, her skin is flawless like a mini version of mine, heaven's knows she doesn't need blush, but try this blue eye-shadow, it has an excellent smoky look, and then some lip venom-not ours Alice! This one I bought at Sephora. After that's done just ask me for further instructions."

I nodded quickly before calling to Bella who I could hear quietly panting as she tried to force on the dress. I shook my head slowly—what was with humans these days?

Bella Pov:

As I looked doubtfully at the dress I realized that it could be a problem getting it on. I could faintly hear Rosalie murmuring things to Alice outside of the bathroom as I studied the dress. It had a zipper that led from where the dip in the back left off to just around the waist where the ruffles where. There were also many layers of silk and chiffon underneath the actual dress and I recalled with vague horror the memories of getting stuck in dresses similar to these.

I let out a determined sigh though and zipped down the back before trying to stick my head up the dress. Before long I was panting and silently cursing under my breath with frustration.

I gave the dress a hard jerk just as the door opened and ended up stumbling into a towel rack and landed sprawled out on the floor.

"Oh, Bella!" I heard Alice sigh, I flushed pink with embarrassment.

"What am I going to do with you? I gave you a simple task and you're on the floor…again!"

I flushed an even deep shade of red at her words.

Then Emmet and Rosalie were at the door looking down at me. I quickly covered myself with the dress and my face almost burst open like an over ripe apple at the fact that Emmet had seen me in my underwear and bra on the floor wrestling with a dress. The fact that Rosalie was there smirking at me did not help…at all.

There was a second of complete silence before Emmet burst and Rosalie burst out in raucous laughter, peering at the "clumsy human" like I was a zoo display.

Between laughs Emmet managed to burst out, "Edward sent me-ha, ha-up here, to see if you were okay-ha, ha-he wanted to come himself, but Jasper and me wouldn't let him because you girls would kill and or torture him if he saw Bella in her dress-but apparently, he, he, Bella doesn't have her dress on yet! Only you, Bella, could managed to bodily injure yourself trying on a dress."

I turned my head away angrily and with much embarrassment.

"Speaking of bodily injuries-are you hurt Bella?" Asked Alice with concern in her voice.

"Yeah Alice-I'm fine-but my ego didn't escape undamaged…" I muttered the last part to myself even though I knew they could hear me.

"Sorry Bella, couldn't resist." Chuckled Emmet before Alice snapped , "Emmet! Leave! Now-we have to give Bella a makeover—and help her get into her dress with out killing herself."

Emmet laughed again and then left to go back downstairs.

"Here Bella," Alice offered me a hand. I took it grudgingly before she lifted me gracefully into the dress with one fluid motion and then zipped it in another.

"Thanks." I said shortly before Alice turned to me.

"Bella-don't be a spoilsport you know me, Rose, and Emmet were just kidding, and we're very sorry if we upset you."

She turned her puppy dog eyes on me and I couldn't help but give in to her apology.

"Fine, now let me go see how this dress looks."

I was about to twirl to the mirror but a cold hand was clapped over my eyes and another picked me up and flew me to a chair.

The hand was removed and I gasped at the sudden dizziness that flew into my gut.

"Alice! Why did you do that?" I exclaimed angrily.

"Bella! You are not allowed to see yourself in the dress until we do your makeup!"

I huffed out, "Don't I have certain rights as a human being to have freedom to see myself?"

"Maybe in the human world-but not in the vampire household," replied Alice sarcasticly as she and Rose started on my hair.

Gentle hands combed and weaved through my hair, I could feel the hotness of a curling iron going through my hair and then I could see the ends of the waves that framed my face.

Alice's tiny hands applied mascara and Rosalie painted my finger and toenails. I couldn't see what color seeing as I had on a mango and oatmeal facial wrap on and a hot water pad over my eyes.

I could feel other tortures being executed on me and I just waited for it all to be over. Finally, what seemed like an eternity later, Rosalie claimed me done and spun around the chair. I gasped at the girl in the mirror.

She was me, but better. The dress looked beyond beautiful with my skin, and my eye lashes were a million miles long and my lips looked big and pretty. My translucent skin actually looked nice for once and the dress framed my figure perfectly.

"Oh! Wow! Alice-Rose!" I gasped out in surprise. They both smiled gently before high fiving each other. I actually looked like I was a normal human compared to them when usually I felt like an ugly little worm. Of course when they changed into their dresses I was sure to go back to the little worm but I loved the feeling of prettiness while it lasted.

"You look amazing Bella," complimented Rosalie sweetly, with no sign of sarcasm in her voice.

"Thanks Rosalie, I-I feel amazing, you guys are geniuses. How did you transform me like this?!"

"Oh Bella-stop putting yourself down, you had all the potential, we just used it."

Alice said, waving a hand in the air.

"Now-look at the shoes we got you." Alice squealed in a half serious voice. I followed her willingly and gazed upon a perfect set of shoes, they were the same color as the dress, and they showed your toes-but most importantly, they were flats-not high heels.

"Oh! These are wonderful Alice. Let me try them on." I did so, and they fit exactly perfect.

"Okay, now stay in this room while me and Rose change. The boys are waiting in the living room-which we remodeled as a dance floor for tonight. Esme is coming too, I imagine she is already changed, but she and Carlisle are announcing the girls as they come through the door."

I nodded.

"Oh and after the dance we have a special surprise Bella! I know you are going to love it! But I can't tell you about it now! Cuz then it wouldn't be a surprise! So I'll go get dressed now before I say to much!" I laughed at Alice's explanation and then sat down on a fluffy chair as I waited for them to get back.

I pondered about the surprise-maybe, just maybe-Edward was going to change me tonight? But that was just too good to be true, and I had a feeling that Edward would tell me, that he would desperately wait for me to change my mind up until the last second.

Of course I knew why he didn't want me to become a vampire, and his explanation was logical. But still my subconscious couldn't help but wonder if the real reason was because he didn't want me forever. I bashed away the thought quickly-I hated myself for even thinking that way-but was the reason I hated myself for thinking that way because I thought that that thought was true?

Okay-I didn't even get what I had just thought. My head was whirling and spinning in endless circles by the time Alice and Rose got back and that was another head twirler.

They looked amazing even for a vampire! Alice's dress was a bloody crimson red with black patterns embroidering the waistline and the hem line. It had small spaghetti straps and a big black bow in the back where large swirls were cut out. The bottom stopped just below the knee. She wore simple yet pretty and expensive looking black high heels that were tied by black satin ribbons.

Rosalie's dress was a rich purple color that was flowy and almost down to her ankles. Sequins were embroidered right under her chest and the back dipped just a little higher than me but had nothing there to cover the skin. It was strapless too and she wore silver hoop earrings-the same color as the sequins-in her ears along with some silver high heels that shimmered in the fluorescent light of Alice's room.

"Wow guys! You look above amazing, I can't believe," Alice shushed me.

"Not now Bella, come on the dance is starting, Rose pick her up, we have to be ready to be introduced-now!"

Before I knew it I was flying through the air once again, and then we were at the door to the living room. Carlisle was there waiting.

"Rosalie, you are going to be introduced first. All right? Alice you second. And last but not least, Bella."

Edward Pov:

I stood waiting, my posture tense, in my tuxedo with Emmet and Jasper. Our gazes were directed toward the entrance. Waiting for our true love's to come out the rectangular door. I could hear Bella's heartbeat and I felt warm-alive-just knowing that she was well.

"Rosalie Cullen." The dance had begun. Emmet smiled his big goofy grin as Rosalie came out the door and down the stairs, hardly glancing at the paper crepe, the ice sculptures, and all the other decorations we had put up-her eyes were only for Emmet.

He took her hands and they began dancing to the soft music that was playing from our surround system, the first couple out on the floor.

"Alice Cullen." Jasper embraced Alice who was laughing cherubically, before heading off in the general direction of Rosalie and Emmet to dance.

"Bella," the world seemed to slow down, every tick of the ancient grandfather clock in the hallway seemed to take an hour rather than a second.

"Swan," The only one without the last name Cullen-perhaps after she changed into a vampire I could change that. I would love to get married now, to give her a splendid dress and ring, to shower her with presents, to make it clear to Jacob Black that Bella would never return his affections-but I had a feeling that Bella would really not want a wedding so early in her life.

And then Bella stepped out and my dead heart came alive.

She was simply breathtaking-more so than usual. Her creamy white skin was showed off perfectly next to the dress, and her beautiful brown eyes seemed three times bigger than normal. I wished to look in them forever. I could tell that the perfect pink color that was on her cheeks was natural, not forced on. And her plump kissable lips shimmered in the light of the chandeliers that Emmet, Jasper and I had put up all over the ceiling.

"Edward? Edward?" I looked down in astonishment to see Bella there-she looked even more perfect up close if it was possible.

"Bella?" I asked in confusion-how had she gotten so close to me in so little time? Had she ran as fast as she could without me hearing? Or had I simply been too caught up in my thoughts to notice her? I decided it must have been the latter seeing as Bella could never run without tripping and falling across something-even if that something was air.

"Yep, that's me-are you all right Edward?" All right? I was more than all right, I was wondrously happy, even if that was only because Bella was next to me.

"Of course, sorry, I was just too caught up in my thoughts of how beautiful you are to have noticed you." I admitted to her, before taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. I could see my favorite blush coming back to her face, could see the look of peer happiness that adorned her face at my words, and I absolutely loved it.

"You don't look to bad yourself Edward," She giggled and I chuckled too.

We danced slowly to the music, I pressed her strawberry scented head to my chest and inhaled my favorite scent in the known world. She sighed in contentment and I crushed her tighter to me. Later we danced faster, and her dress whirled around her as I spun her like a globe-she laughed as I caught her and flipped her before landing her gracefully on her feet.

"I'm surprised Bella, you haven't tripped at all this entire dance." I thought back to the line I had told her what seemed like a millennium ago: it's all in the leading.

"It's all in the leading like you said Edward." I almost gasped-had she read my mind. All I saw was sheer innocent in her beautiful brown eyes. Great minds think alike, I thought wryly. And it was true-we both had great minds, but only one of us had a great heart. Mine was shrivled and cruel if it felt close to no remorse at wanting to keep an angel forever, if it actually wanted to give in to the angel's request. I sighed.

"What's the matter Edward?" Bella asked, worry in her adorable voice.

"Nothing love, it's nothing."

She stubbornly put her lip in full pout mode.

"Edward! Tell me-I have the right to know."

I sighed again, this time in desperate frusteration.

"It's just that, well I keep thinking that it's so horrible to turn you into a vampire, even if that's what you, an angel wants, and I think that maybe when you're a vampire, you'll hate me so much that you'll leave me and I'll be alone forever."

The words hurt to think, much less to say, and I thought I might die bringing the words to life.

I saw shock in Bella's eyes. And then pain and hurt. I didn't want to hurt her! I should not have said anything.

"Edward," She started carefully, "How-could you even, think-that I would ever in any universe, hate you? I love you and I will always love you, no matter what you do. Please remember that."

Her words were so sincere, so loving that I willingly gave up on that thought and held Bella close for a moment more. We danced for a few minutes longer before I noticed a small line of sweat on Bella's brow.

"Refreshment, love?" I asked gesturing toward the long table of food and drinks that were stacked on the table.

"Oh wow, Edward-none of you eat, you didn't have to set up a buffae!"

"Well Esme wanted it to seem like a real dance," I explained with a laugh. I could see Esme being twirled by Carlisle nearby. She winked at us when she heard my words and Bella laughed.

"Well in that case I would love a refreshment." I led her by her hand to the table and watched as she poured herself a drink of sparkling apple juice and grabbed a slice of cake. I fed her the cake as we sat and talked about wonderful, silly, human, trivial things.

"Come on Bella-Edward! Time for the surprise!" Alice was practically shaking with joy as she scooped up Bella's hand and skipped her way to our backyard. I rolled my eyes at her excitement, but I was glad in truth that Bella would probably enjoy the surprise.

"Bella! I present-the surprise." Alice gestured to a large pool and Bella laughed out loud.

"Alice! It's a pool! This is more than a surprise, this is so cool! I've always wanted Renee to get a pool but we never had the money and oh wow! But to bad we can't go in it tonight-I don't have a bathing suit."

Alice-and Rosalie and Esme who had gathered behind us along with Jasper, Emmet, and Carlisle all laughed.

"Bella, me and Rose already got you one, it's really pretty! So just come up stairs without arguing and you can try it on-all right?"

I could see the defeat and hidden pleasure in Bella's eyes.

"Fine Alice! Fine-I'll put on your present and then we can try out this pool."

I waited downstairs for Bella and the girls to get done changing. I had changed in less than a minute and was ready. I heard some giggling upstairs and rolled my eyes, no doubt the girls were getting assecories and other trite girl things.

Suddenly the door rang. I froze; I heard the thoughts of Jacob Black outside the door, and it also appeared that he was no average human.

**Whew-that was a long chapter. Well you all know what happened to Jacob in the short time that he was away from Bella, in fact-well I will say no more, I'll explain in it the next chapter via Jacob's thoughts via Edward's Pov. So review and I shall update-I already wrote most of the story and the next chapter is indeed the last. **


	15. A Long Time

_I waited downstairs for Bella and the girls to get done changing. I had changed in less than a minute and was ready. I heard some giggling upstairs and rolled my eyes, no doubt the girls were getting assecories and other trite girl things._

_Suddenly the door rang. I froze; I heard the thoughts of Jacob Black outside the door, and it also appeared that he was no average human._

Jacob Pov:

Everything made sense now. As I drove to the Cullen's, one hand on the wheel and the other flipping through radio stations, I reviewed on all that I had just learned. And man—was that a lot. So, the legends were true; the Cullen's were vamps…and Bella had been dating Edward—the horriblest, vilest vamp of the vamps!

My grip on the steering wheel tightened and then loosened again at that same thought—she had only liked him because she had a need to be protected—or maybe she was afraid that he would eat her if she dumped him…but she didn't have to worry about either of those anymore!

Because I could now protect her more than that stupid pale skinned one could! I could be her everything—her one and only—her werewolf. My grin increased as I pulled up to the Cullen's drive and then rang the doorbell. I knew that Edward could read my mind, so I pulled up the blankest, most petulant, innocent thoughts I could think of…but still the word Werewolf, couldn't help but be mixed around a couple times…oh well…who gave a damn if he knew I was a werewolf? If he didn't open the door…I was just going to knock it down.

Jasper Pov:

I tensed suddenly as Edward's emotions spiked up from relaxed and happy to outraged, jealous, and tense. I looked at him, taking in the growl that seemed to never stop, and the bared teeth that were aimed at the door.

E_dward—who's there, what's happening…do I need to get Alice? _I was suddenly panicked at the thought of something out there…just waiting to get to my Alice. Could a vampire be any more fragile than my one love was? Of course…if she ever knew I had had these thoughts in my head for a split second then I would be ashes by the hour…but still.

_EDWARD! _

I mentally screamed before he finally answered, out loud, "It's Jacob. Jacob Black."

I was momentarily confused—the boy? But he was no harm…

"And he's not just a simple human—you know he couldn't be! Bella attracts trouble like a light attracts a moth! He's a werewolf!"

I snorted at this, and then shook my head, "Leave it to Bella!" I had really gotten used to my clumsy, dangerous, accident prone, soon-to-be sister.

"Leave what to me?" Speak of the devil.

Edward Pov.

I was overwhelmed. What was I supposed to do? I had no time! My Bella was walking down the stairs, and the Mutt was at the door—and Jasper was laughing so loud in his mind that it was impossible to think!

_You're messed up Dude! _He thought from his place on the couch.

I ignored him as best as I could and then turned to Bella, who was looking lovingly confused, soft chocolate eyes narrowed and head cocked at Jasper and me. I wanted nothing more than to just grab her and run away with her…but atlas…

The doorbell rang once more and she looked towards it, more confusion clouding her eyes.

"Who is it? You guys have visitors?"

Her confusion was adorable.

The dog, on the other hand, was not.

"No. It's for you." I said gruffly, anger fogging my perfect view of her.

"Oh, well…who, why aren't you letting whoever it is in?"

"Because it's Jacob," Jasper told her before I could say anything, a briefly louder growl slipped from between my lips and Jasper mentally laughed.

_Ha-Ha Edward…what? It's not like you were going to _lie _to her…were you? Ha-ha! _

"Oh! Jake!"

I nodded once, curtly—my face carved into a perfect blank mask. Bella begin to squirm a little uncomfortably, and it pained me to see her like this—obviously wanting me to let _him _in. She said nothing though, maybe trying not to hurt my feelings? But then his thoughts began to pelt me from outside.

_Hey leech! I know you can hear me—let me in! Or the big bad wolf will blow your door down!" _

"Nice creativity…and you didn't even get the line right!" I muttered under my breath—surprised at how my mature, loveable, forgiving, perfect Bella could even deal; much less seem to enjoy the company of the rash, bad influencing, menace waiting outside the door.

"What's that?" Bella asked, not sure if the words were meant to be addressed at her.

"Nothing—but I have something to tell you about your…friend."

"Um…ok. But wait—here just let him in first—,"

"NO!" I roared, blocking the door and crouching in front of her—I was ashamed to say that my teeth barred a little bit, and with widened, terrified, monster—seeing eyes, Bella tottered backwards, almost crashing to the floor. However, simultaneously Alice was there, behind her, catching her fall—and then the front door was open—the lock shattered by the new strength of my newer enemy.

Bella Pov:

"Here just let him in first," I began to tell Edward—a little afraid of being too pushy. Sure, he said he had always adored me even when he left—but I couldn't help but have a little insecurity inside myself. But then Edward was gone and a ferocious, snarling new Edward was crouched on the ground in front of me—stopping my reaching arm.

Startled I stepped back quickly, and then tottered and started to fall. I was sure I was about to hit my head…again…but then I was in the arms of Alice, just as the door burst open, with Jacob smiling. I was shocked—I knew Jake was ripped, but I didn't know he was that ripped.

"Hi Bella," he said casually, looking for the world as if there was nothing wrong with bursting through the Cullen's front door.

"Jacob! You just…well, you just knocked down Edward's front door!"

He turned to glance behind him, a very Jacob-y grin on his face, and then turned to face me again.

"Cool…isn't it?"

I could feel my signature blush returning to my cheeks—coloring my whole face.

"No! It's rude, apologize." I motioned to a furious looking Edward, who was now, to my horror—emitting a series of growls. He knew that was against the rules! What would Jacob think?

"Edward!" I hissed out, looking between the two of them. He rushed toward my side, and I could feel my mouth pop open. What had gotten in to him? Also, to my surprise, he was crouched in front of me—as if tensed for danger.

"It's OK Bella…I know that he's a vamp—and I know now w_hy _you choose him. For protection right…or maybe you were just afraid he would eat you or something—,"

"No Jake! It's not like that!" I protested widely, scooting closer to Edward while trying to find out what Jacob was. Super strength? Knowledge of vampires?…he had told me something about…someone back at La Push. I just couldn't bring myself to remember that particular moment what with all drama that had happened this year.

"Then tell what it is Bella!"

"She doesn't want to talk you mutt. You are not welcome here—I'll have to ask you to leave." Edward's face was no longer a blank mask—it was full of fury, and…jealousy too. I didn't know how I had missed it before.

"No Edward—it's not that I don't want to talk to Jacob—wait…Mutt?" I barely absorbed the word because before I could ask any questions Jacob was stepping closer to Edward, his eyes menacing.

Edward scooted up a foot too, pushing me behind him even further.

I barely noticed the rest of the Cullen's whispering to each other frantically. Jacob and Edward did notice when Carlisle stepped in between the two of them.

"Edward…Jacob. Just take a deep breath and,"

"I don't need advice from a vampire!" Jacob hissed, he seemed to be shivering—or quivering more like it.

"I'd warn you to not talk to my Father that way again…but I think I would rather just make sure you don't."

Then Edward had lunged at Jacob—and I wasn't aware that the shrilly high pitched noise that seemed to rebound around the room was myself: screaming. I could picture the blood that was almost positively squirting out from Jacob, but then suddenly Edward was flying again—backward though, and the cracking sound was his body hitting the wall.

I turned my gaze back to where Jacob was—but Jacob was gone. Instead there was a huge fur covered monster staring back at me with inhuman yellow eyes, and baring vicious pearly white teeth: a werewolf.

Jacob Pov:

I was already fighting to keep my calm when the leader leech interfered, stepping in between the barrier that was keeping me from Bella. I couldn't help it.

My body was shaking from my feet to my palms and everything happened in slow motion thereafter.

"I don't need advice from a vampire!" I yelled—hissing out the v word as if it were evil; which it was.

"I'd warn you to not talk to my Father that way again…but I think I would rather just make sure you don't." Edward was saying—perfectly calm which was perfectly infuriating.

Then he lunged. On instinct my body exploded—almost as quickly as he leaped. I threw him off me—my eyes clouding with red rage—it was more than annoyance, it was more than anger, it was more than fury—it was the instinct to _kill. _Just as Edward stood up—a bit dazed, he obviously didn't know the strength which was me; I pounced—leaping through the air just as the two boys that were not the Doctor began to come after me.

There was no one in between me and him—I was ready to tear stone from more stone, and I was ready to burn the ashes—just like the stories said. But then—as I was flying through the air—I heard a small, weak, cry of, "No!"

And Bella was throwing herself in front of Edward in the split millisecond of time before I was set to hit him. Even with his and my speed combined it wouldn't have been enough to stop myself from tearing into her—nor could Edward have the speed to throw Bella anywhere, anywhere at all then in front of him.

Before I really knew what was happening my claws were tearing into her and then the bulky one had caught up with me from behind and was tearing me off of h_er _and throwing me so hard that I hit the broken front door and fell to the floor—dazed, a few bones breaking with the impact. I could smell blood—of course I could—and everything was in chaos in front of my eyes. The blonde boy vampire eyes widened and he looked like he was in pain…but with no instruction from anyone he was running, a blur of motion out the door and to who-knows-where. The beautiful, hideous, blonde one did the same, taking the time to delicately cover her mouth and nose before sprinting off.

The rest of them seemed to be able to take the pain and crowded around Bella, who kept passing out briefly from the pain. The small vampire came back from the upstairs with a metal gurney—I hadn't realized she had left—and parked it next to Bella. Both Carlisle and Edward stopped her from picking up Bella, and I heard Edward ask, "Is it safe to move her? What if her spine—,"

I didn't want to hear any more. With a heart breaking howl I tore out the door and was running. Running. Running. And no. I didn't know where.

Edward Pov:

"Is it safe to move her?" I demanded, "What if her spine is smashed?"

Carlisle paused, his face unsure, and then he was gently turning her over and prodding up and down her spine. He sighed in relief.

_No problem there, Edward. _

I gave him a brief nod before scooping her up like a fragile, delicate china doll and then depositing her on the hard metal gurney.

Once there Carlisle began poking places, tapping here and there, and examining her wounds. I waited on the side—not being able to think, not being able to breathe, and above all not being able to blame anyone but myself. Not even Jacob. I should have been the one to get her out of the way—it was my fault that she had hopped in front of me—my fault for lunging first—my fault, all my fault. I could have sworn I had a mini un-heart attack when Carlisle turned to me with a grave expression.

"She's losing too much blood—there's only one way Edward. Are you willing?"

I froze—not being able to comprehend the words he was saying—he couldn't —he didn't mean…turn Bella? Now? I wasn't ready for this, not even close—but yet if I didn't…

Carlisle emphasized this by hissing, "Yes or No Edward."

Of course it was a yes, and I was willing to tell him that if only I could move.

Then Alice was shoving herself in between the two of us, "Get out of my sight Edward—if you're not turning her, then I am."

That shocked me out of my stupor; I roughly shoved her away harshly; but I could tell she didn't mind—as long as Bella was saved.

I leaned down slowly and whispered the truest and most fitting thing I could, "I love you." Then my teeth were piercing her throat and her delicious blood was being sucked into my mouth—feeding me, nurturing me, nurturing me until I was jerked off by too many hands to count.

"Hold your breath Edward—calm down; it's Bella there!" Alice was hissing into my ear, while Emmet and Esmee held me down. She didn't have to say that twice. The moment Bella registered in my hearing I had stopped putting up a fight…instead I watched her…writhing in pain on the gurney…and watched…and watched.

Bella Pov:

I had been burning for an immeasurable amount of time. The pain itself was exactly that: immeasurable. How would you like it if you very insides were set on fire while someone repeatedly stabbed you with a jagged piece of glass while strangling you—well this was worse…and it had apparently been going on for much more than three days. Or so it seemed…but it also seemed the pain was starting to fade just a little, or perhaps I was just getting used to it.

The former defiantly; one could never get use to that sort of pain.

I whimpered out loud again and that cursed myself again—every sound I made was driving Edward mad with guilt…I tried not to dwell on the begging for him, for everyone, to kill me in the first hour—that could only be expected of course.

Yes…the pain was definitely fading, shrinking from my whole body and contracting. It took a few more hours of intense pain but then all at once it was gone and I opened my eyes to a whole new world.

It was as if I had been drunk with 50/50 vision before; the way things were crystal clear now. As for my hearing—well I wouldn't have been surprised if someone told me that I had been wearing earplugs before compared to the perfect, defined hearing I had now…and the smells. The first thing I smelt was him; Edward; my one true love no matter how much I had suffered at the hands—teeth—of him. He smelt delicious as always, and as always I could not describe that exact scent. I had to be content with leaping up—surprised with my agility—and rushing into his arms. I let out several sniffs while he hugged me back, stroking my hair.

No one else was in the room but me and him, and I could see out the windows that it was barely Twilight.

"I'm sorry." He broke the silence.

"What for?"

"What for?" He mimicked crossly, "For taking away your soul Bella! For putting your life in danger again—for making you go through the pain!" He let out a dry sob and then tore away from me, slumping against the wall. Panicked and deeply worried I crossed over to him, leaning down so I could see his face.

"No! Edward—never say sorry—the pain was worth this," I tried to explain, to no avail.

"Worth what? Being a monster like me…then yes, it is totally worth it."

"No…for being with you forever…so look me in the eye and say you don't want me like this, dead on Edward…look me in the eye and say you weren't going to change me anyway."

I was pleased to see his frown disappear, and for passion to enter his eyes.

"You're not upset?"

"Not even a little."

"Good." He replied, then with a solemn eye that was so serious it was almost scary he looked me straight on and said in a perfectly clear, delicious voice that I could listen to for eternity and never ask for anything more, "Because I love you Isabella Marie Swan…love you more than I ever knew I could, and forever is a long, long time."

Then, with the sun setting over the soon to be night sky, Edward leant in, and with no other words, kissed me, sealing his vows.


End file.
